I met some really great professional Realtors too whom I look forward to working with again. But then there were those transactions where the clients were less that pliable and the Realtors were just plain mean.
It was during one of those particularly gloomy days when I thought the pain of dealing with those difficult people would never end, that I wrote this last year.
I believe that no matter what job you hold you will experience difficult people. I hope that this will give you some encouragement in how to deal with them.
As a godly woman trying her best to exhibit the ethics and maturity that God has spent years teaching me, I struggle with those businessmen and women whose only means of doing business is through intimidation and bully tactics.
I work very hard at my job and try my very best to go above and beyond in service to my clients. But then I get those clients whom I can’t, please and their only mode of operation is by intimidation and forced control. If their property isn’t selling, it has to be my fault, not the short comings of the property. Therefore they resort to bully tactics to get me to perform up to their standards, no matter the effort I’ve put into selling their property.
The temptation to resort to their level and begin a dialog of strong biting and cutting words is strong. Many years ago, well maybe not so many, I would have quickly resorted to my natural instinct to just let loose and cut them to the quick with strategically placed adjectives which showed my wit and intelligence and their lack of it.
But God has shown me repeatedly in His word that I am to live by a higher standard. I am to allow a measure of this without recourse of my own. “Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Lord.” (My own paraphrase.) He commands us to not enter into shouting matches to defend our honor, but be calm and gentle and allow Him to fight for our honor.
So my struggle today is to find the balance where my responses to the bullies of this world should stop and allow God to begin. I used to beat myself up for not being able to sell an inferior product or a product that the public just did not want. But I’ve laid that guilt trip down because I know how hard I work for every client I have and the effort I put into selling homes.
So, if a home is not selling, it is not from my lack of effort and I will not take responsibility for the state of the economy, the location of the property or the condition it is in. I will not allow the guilt that the bullies of this world try to manipulate me with, affect me. Because I know, even if no one else can see, that I have worked hard and done the best job that the circumstances will allow.
For those of you out there today that struggle with working with godly values in an anti-god world, it is time to draw your line in the sand and stop defending yourselves. These are the things that you need to do.
1. Do the best job you know how to do for each client
2. Do not submit to being bullied or intimidated, but calmly respond with only the most necessary communication in a gentle voice or manner.
3. Do not allow them to cause you to feel guilty for poor performance when you know you have done your best.
4. Do not feel the need to defend yourself, explaining all that you have done for them in an attempt to make them feel guilty for attacking you.
5. Do give it to God and allow Him to guide you through the communication process with this person, being sensitive to the Holy Spirit while being slow to speak.
6. Do not allow yourself to feel burdened by their anger and contempt.
7. Do know when to walk away from the relationship after having done all that you can and they are still not satisfied.
We all face these kinds of clients in our world today. Because we care about the kind of job we do and the reputation we carry, we endeavor to work hard to make every client happy, which many times leads us into being manipulation and intimidated. When this happens we usually respond one of two ways, we loose our cool and unleash a verbal vengeance upon them or we have an emotional meltdown. Either way is not good.
Remember to stay strong in the might and the power of the Lord. Stay cool under pressure and know when to walk away. When you do walk away, resist the urge to tell them all that you have done for them. It is only natural that we want them to know how hard we have worked and to glorify everything we did for them, which they may not know about. We don’t want to walk away without them knowing how wonderful we are and how hard we worked for them.
But, this never works. It only leads to a shouting match or an intimidation of the wills. It is best to calmly walk away and allow God to reveal to them your character and work ethic. He surely does a much better job of that than we do. Do as Jesus instructed the disciples in the bible to do when they were not accepted in a town or a home. Leave and shake the dust from your feet as a symbol that you have left it behind and left it to God.
Nancy Jackson, daydreamer extraordinair
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